PBTKOLPBADMMODG (from Hall of Famer, Breann)

PBTKOLPBADMMODG

Priceless Banter: The Kingdom of Leisure Podcast, Banter After Dark & the Massively, Multiplayer Online Drinking Game

The point of this game is to encourage the PB audience to listen again and again to the Podcast, playing the game with more and more friends until the phenomenon completely upends the WOW community and shuts down the Asian gold farming market.

Or, at least gets more than 3 people to listen to the shows...

Instructions:

Receive a call from Ty, Rich or Dave- Or all 3. Or none-- you can play with yourself! (insert masturbation aside here)

Pick a PBTKOL Podcast from the more than thirty (30) different (yet uncannily alike) episodes.

Select one (1) beverage from each of three (3) categories. Drinks have point levels which, as they are consumed, may be used to earn “stingers.” A base ten (10) points earned in a drink round earn the player a special f/x sound MP3 (eg fart fan, tea baggin’, ohnoyoko or car alarmist), which they can use to annoy fellow players throughout the game.

SWEET
Prune juice (may cause gastric movement w/in 20 minutes of ingestion): 1 pt
Rich, chocolate-y Ovaltine: 2 pt
Bubble tapioca tea: 1 pt
Hummingbird syrup (four-to-one mix): 3 pt
Kool-Aid (drunk through a Red Vine “straw”--): 2 pt

SAVORY
Piping hot, miso soup: 2 pt
Scaldingly hot, Egg Drop Flower soup: 3 pt
Room temperature barley water: 1 pt
Salty Dog cocktail (vodka + salt): 1 pt
My Aunt Flo cocktail (vodka + Clamato): 3 pt
Kefir (plain): 2 pt

ASTRINGENT
Kombucha: 1 pt
A full bota bag of Retsina (a Greek wine made from tree bark): 3 pt
Absinthe (the real Green Fairy stuff from “woodworm,” + sugar + spoon): 3 pt
Yerba maté (served in a calabash gourd, sipped from a bombilla): 2 pt
Schweppes Tonic water (must include ing. “quinine”): 1 pt
Tequila: 2 pt

Note: Most of these beverages may have to be quite noisily consumed (ie. slurping, gulping, sucking, heaving), or require frequent stirrings, pourings, scrapings, ice-jostling or other “freshening-up.” It is recommended that each player have plenty of their choice beverage on hand, as PB shows are notoriously dense and slow...

As the Podcast commences, you will take a drink from your trio of selections depending on the show cues.

SHOW CUES:
If your episode features an intro by a distinctly nasal woman’s voice = drink from savory

When Rich stutters slightly, coining the phrase “Because this is... this is priceless banter...” = drink from sweet

Whenever music is played from a TKOL “archive” = drink from astringent

Whenever Dave mentions: levels = astringent

Whenever Rich asks about Dave = sweet
Whenever Dave asks about Rich = savory

Whenever Ty mentions: wires, Wire Hut™ or Tandy Corp.© = astringent

If Rich says “wide stance” = no one drinks
If Ty says “wide stance” = savory

Any reference to “Blue York” = sweet

Any reference to Dave’s junk or Dave’s feet = sweet

If a mic feeds back or distorts= savory

If anyone asks “Can you hear me now?” = deduct 5 pts from each player, and/or recall any stingers awarded.

Announcement of ad sponsorship with possible legal conflicts = astringent

Discussion of orange juice = sweet
Discussion of “rotter” = savory
Discussion of eating “poop” or “poo” = no one drinks

When a female voice speaks Toilet Talk™ = astringent

Whenever Ty sighs disconsolately &/or discusses his family = astringent + sweet

If anyone says “we can edit that out,” or “take two” = savory

When Rich has a million dollar idea = sweet
When Ty has a million dollar idea = savory

When anything on Priceless Banter is outsourced = all stingers are taken away and all player points return to zero.

If topical discussion of politics, sports or failed TV pilots goes longer than 4 minutes = astringent

When Ty whispers = no one drinks
When Rich leaves dead air while thinking = savory
When Dave gets defensive about being called the World’s Worst Podcaster = sweet

Lastly:
When the PBTKOLP outro slide guitar begins, all players should drink the remainder of their drinks in order of: astringent, savory, sweet. Whomever does not vomit copiously is considered god-like and may receive many honors via Facebook gifts, or LinkedIn referrals...

LET’S PLAY!!